A prayer

What appropriate words there could be to describe this?
Such marvelous and splendid experience to see You...
in every small things - living and not.
I couldn't be a better writer just to describe and retell every detail of Your awesome magnificence...
so vast, unspoken and miraculous.
I couldn't fathom it, I couldn't breathe without praising every one of them.
I live upon the provisions of Your blessings. I thrive upon Your mercy. I survive every day because You held on for me...until the time I'd be reborn.
Where have I gone? Why was I asleep for so long?
No one could awaken me, but You...
But I was a stubborn, stupid child...refused to stop pretending...thinking that can save me from my self-made doom.
You patiently waited for me once again.
No one as patient as You could have lasted this long.
I don't want to even wink a single eye...afraid to miss every second being with You...but even as I slumbered for a very very long time, You were there, guarding me and protecting me...looking at me with loving eyes.
When I'd stray too far away, You'd simply grab my hands and pull me back.
But I was utterly unaware of all of that...completely and blatantly ignorant of Your great sacrifices to make me whole still.
I know I was too hard on You most of the time, if not all...gave you a very difficult situation to deal with....but You fixed them up for me...with teary eyes and a bleeding heart at some points.
How couldn't have I been more stubborn than this? Absurdly and inexplicably intolerable.
You gave me all...but I was completely ungrateful for it.
You provided the answers...but I ignored them.
You hugged me...but I withdrew from You.
How can I be such a dolt to turn my back from You?
I am frail, yet so stubborn.
I am fragile, yet refused to be championed.
Oh my Dearest, with bended knees...I plead thee...
with a sorrowful and contrite heart,
pardon my shortcomings and free me from all the imprisonment of sin.
Let not my weakness be the cause of my own destruction,
rather the root of my courage to lean upon Your sword and lay down all to Your hands.
I am thine servant.